Promusica and London

Even though hidup aku agak tunggang langgang, study tah kemana, kesihatan tah kemana..akhirnya aku bakal capai impian aku tok pegi Masterclass anjuran Flanders German school and joe sidek production tok Opera acting and berpeluang tok blakon dgn pelakon2 opera bertaraf antarabangsa...aku aku betolak ke penang ahad nie pada 17 jun dan akan stay disana sampailah 27 jun di Bellevue Hotel bukit bendera, agak stress sbb skrips and lagu2 belom cover lagi...xpe pengalaman ini akan aku amati sebaek2nye...nnt balik je dari penang aku akan tros buat preparation tok fly ke UK iaitu ke london and Cambridge University, aku xsangka aku terpilih untuk mewakili Malaysia and UiTM tok anjuran pertama dorg nie, kt sane nnt aku akan duduk di London dri 29 Oct sampai 4 Nov, kat sane nnt ade Symposium yg dianjurkan dr. Nicholas Cook iaitu Musicologist no.1 dunia...yg bestnye die yg offer diri tok berjumpa dengan ktorg 15 orang yg terpilih nie....bile tau result nie aku rasa nak pengsan ade, menjerit pon ade...xsabar nak crik jacket and boot...haha...harap2 bile aku pegi mende2 nie at least boleh buat aku terus tersenyum lepas sume mende buruk yg jadi nie...

Thx to all lecturers and kawan2 yg banyak sgt2 tolong and contribute dalam idop aku yg xseberapa nie...semoga Allah dapat membalas budi kalian semua... Ikhlas dari saya :) 

Just wanna know why u did this, why?

Sampai skunk aku tatau kenapa nak kene hancurkan orang dengan tanpa sebab, suke2 nak hancurkan hati orang demi kepuasan diri, I just wanna why? is it fun to play with? macam maen game? Ok been in this situation bile dia datang and berkenalan,

SITUATION A

Player -"Yes saye single, he's my scandal anyway and nothing serious between us"
Victim - "Ouh really??, great..
Player - "Saye suke awak and kite boleh siryes i mean getting serious and i need u more than everything"
Victim - "Yes me too, thanks for being nice and sincere... (well this is bullshit)

Been there? well i spent my precious times for this stupid situation, i wonder why players, "lovers" nak kene buat camni, padahal dorg dah ade relationship?why?

SITUATION B

Player - "susah jadi saye, org xkan paham...i need both!!"
Victim - "No, choose between me or him/her ( with hopes yg diri nie terpilih la)
Player - "Plz jangan paksa saya, ugut saya camni.."
Victim - "saya xnak jadi reason why u break with ur current lover" (being nice and sincere)

In the end, kite yang saket...die tggalkan kite bile kite mmg perlukan die 100%, like what? can u just imagine how bad it is? like u wanna burn urself, attempt to suicide or anything..My question is why?
My type, personally..I'm becoming so serious and honest with this kind of thing, aku jenis yang akan commit and do everything tok keep the love, once bile bende bertukar menjadi mende buruk...mesti aku frust, cume org xkan nampak how bad it is la kan, Aku been through situasi nie...but this one paling terukla, and honestly aku mmg xkan dapat lupekan die...sbb aku sayang and cintakan dia. Well, aku akan teruskan perasaan nie, xkesahlah die lupekan aku sbb now die mmg bahagia ngan lover dia...and just wanna say that, i bukan plastic and fake, kalo aku cintakan ir sayang seseorang aku akan buat n kekalkan perasaan tu, too bad yg aku dipermaenkan, at least aky xbuat mende nie :-

1.HOOK UP WITH SOMEONE ELSE WHILE I'M HAVING A SERIOUS RELATIONSHIP.
2.PLAYING AROUND WITH "FEELINGS" BEING SUCH A FAKE MORON.
3.SATISFYING MYSELF, NEEDY AND EVERYTHING ALL ABOUT ME.
4.SIMPLY SLIPPED OUT LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED.
5.XRASA BERSALAH OR TRY TO JERNIHKAN KEADAAN.
6.FUCK AROUND, BEING FAKE.

Sorry, but nie yang aku nampak...again the question is why? is it that a right thing to do? So far aku dah cukop seksa diri aku and pikih ape sialnya aku, but aku lupe...its not my fault, aku xbuat mende2 nie...people out there, i just wanna say, if u found somebody yang betul cinta and sayang korg, jangan la hancurkan hati dorg demi nafsu korg tu...mmg best, but bile kite sendiri kene saket tau x? so janganlah...elakkan..bile aku tgok diri aku dengan keadaan yang aku lalui...aku rasa terok sgt, bile aku tengok ex aku sedang berbahagia going out "dinner with love", cube korg bayangkan ape yg aku rasa? aku lebih rela dikelar or mati kene bunuh dri aku dgr or read anything about their happiness...